Grief and Loss

Inevitably, it comes to all.

Everyone experiences grief at one time or another.

The loss of a parent, spouse, or child.

The end of a relationship.

In some cases, it could be grief over family estrangement. This type, ambivalent grief, is unusually difficult because you are grieving the loss of someone still alive.

It comes in stages.

You may have heard of the five stages of grief made famous by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: Denial. Anger. Bereavement. Depression. Acceptance.

These can be a theme when you grieve, but they’re not linear. You can move back and forth among them.

For example, you may be in shock. Did this really happen? (Denial). Then, you may be really, really sad about it (depression). And while you may accept that this has occurred, you could also be angry that it did.

We don’t “do” grief…

…not well, that is. As a society, we’re not very good at grief.

We expect people just to “get over it” fairly quickly.

And if you’re lucky enough to work for a company that actually offers bereavement leave, you will typically get no more than three days for the loss of a significant family member. Three days!

But we need to.

We need to deal with it, and we need to care for ourselves.

Grief can do all sorts of things to your psyche.

Often, as is the case with ambivalent grief, you begin to question yourself, wondering “Was there something else I could have said – or done?”

Looking back, you can see that, if you’re being really honest about it, you may have started recognizing signs of the possible impending estrangement – yet you ignored them in hopes of continuing to have some form of a relationship, even if unhealthy.

In the case of a death, moving forward can be very difficult – and it takes time.

It feels awful.

At times, you may even find you cut yourself off from others to grieve.

Embrace the experience. Let it in.

Your grief is safe with me. And it’s your grief.

I work with you to understand it, make sense of things that don’t make sense, and find a way through it so you can continue to live.

Healing your grief is possible…

…if you make room in your life to truly grieve.

Grief changes over time. It shifts and, with time, is no longer acutely painful.

Room opens up for other feelings – including hope, joy and the discovery of a renewed sense of purpose.

Feel to heal.

Let me help support you as you navigate your journey through grief. Let’s honor your loss in a way that is mindful, helpful and healing….